Craving My Addiction

At times when I was younger I needed a comic book much like a smoker needs a cigarette. I am feeling that way now. Unfortunately it is not any comic book I want but the ones I am patiently waiting for so I can add them to my collection. Of course I am talking about CGC graded comic books. I have four that I will not be able to get before the 18^th of September, another which is in transit somewhere, and a few more at CGC itself. All in all I have at least ten more waiting to come to me. I can wait till Wednesday when new books arrive; I don’t yet feel like I need a comic book to read. I still have enough here.

I want to add to my registry. I want to show that I am an avid collector not just by my words but by my collection. This is a nagging hunger, one I have to squelch or I fear it will encompass me and dwindle my funds. This past week was a glorious opportunity for me to jump ahead of the game with extra hours. A broken toe destroyed this hope. Over this next month I will have to budget tighter because next month in October I plan to send in more books to get graded, twenty for my collection and thirty to hopefully sell.

Of course what am I going to do with that thirty??? I am going to sell them to put towards more books. My addiction doesn’t have to control me. With proper thought and planning instead of craving my addiction I can feed it.

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An escape or an Addiction?

Another day has passed, my bills are paid, my books are to be delivered this week and I wonder what I should purchase next. I know I should save a bit more; I really should especially since I am closing in on my goal and I would hate to have purchased something and then have something I really want be up for bid or purchase. Damn run on sentence. Every now and then in life I wonder why I collect comic books. Other times I do not try to figure out why, I just do.

What would happen if I quit collecting, what would happen then? What else would I spend my money on and how will I ever find out how Miles Morales becomes the new Spider-Man? I don’t want to say my life revolves around comic books, it doesn’t but I am not going to say I can quit anytime I want to. I stopped collecting comic books once before. This was because of my financial instability. I simply couldn’t afford it.

At first I just stopped collecting books that only had a margin of interest, then others, then all. When I got back into the collecting comic book scene it was my saving grace. My life fell apart and I struggled with my own self worth. Being transported into this other fictional world wasn’t an escape from my world, I still had to deal with it, it was a visit into other lives and how they dealt with it, or at the very least how real writers had the characters deal with it. Maybe I was Marrow and instead of being horribly disfigured on the outside, it was the inside that was scarred. If she could deal with it, how could I not?

Comic books aren’t real. The characters as well written as they could be are two dimensional at best. The movies that are created to portray them are just that, movies. Even the comic books I am hoping to get are books I already have purchased before, this time I am just trying to purchase the best possible one. I am not saying that I will never allow myself to be in such a financial dire strait again. I am just saying that sometimes when you feel down a good escape could be found in a good book, or a comic book.

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